One thing that is consistent in this life is that we are going to encounter adverse circumstances. Whether it be an untimely passing of a family member or the water heater flooding our house, it is not a matter of if something unexpected is going to happen, it’s a matter of when. The question is, are we letting our experiences to turn us into bitter or better people? God places adverse circumstances in our path so we can learn from them and grow. While the lesson we need to learn may not be apparent at the time, we have to stop and reflect. Many times our initial reaction to adversity is anger, resentment, or self-pity. We are looking inward (hence the letter i in bitter) to make everything about us, tying our identity to the experience. Relating who we are to a transient experience is what allows the bitterness to seep inward. I use the word transient because every experience we have is exactly that; it lasts for a nominal amount of time and then evaporates into the ether. NO experience we have lasts forever. I want us all to remember that. So the next time we are struggling to pay a bill on time or the dry cleaner ruined our new shirt, remember that we are simply having an experience that, in the grand scheme of things, is as small as a pimple on a whale’s butt.
On the flip side, let’s talk about when we allow adversity to make us better. This is when we see our experiences for what they are: external factors that occur outside of us (E for external, hence the e in the word better). When we see adverse circumstances in this light, we are able to respond, instead of reacting, to the experiences. Then we can start to ask ourselves questions, such as: What can I learn from this experience? Why is this experience making me feel anxious/mad/upset? What is my responsibility (not fault) surrounding this experience? The more we ask ourselves these types of questions, the more we come to terms with the fact that we can use adversity as a tool to make us better people. If we can accept that adversity is a positive growth tool, we will see life through a new set of eyes. Instead of getting anxious and melting down or becoming defensive and lashing out when adversity shows up to the party, we can greet it with the anticipation of knowing that it is a friend that is going to help us grow to a new level that we didn’t know possible. So I urge you to go out today and embrace your adversity!